These little guys were invented in Brussels, a small country in Eastern Europe, during the Soviet takeover when food became scarce. Under commie rule there is never enough food for anyone but the elite so the locals had to resort to eating this crappy little sprout. After a few years they figured out that if you roast them they don't taste like a dirty old shoe. This preferred method of preparation is a well guarded secret so you are fucking lucky I feel like sharing it with you. Let's begin:
Chop off the bottom of your sprouts, remove the outer leaves and rinse them off. If you do not perform this necessary step, your sprouts will taste like total shit. Trust me. Next we use the age-old technique of "shake and bake." This step is particularly fun because you get to be incredibly wasteful which contributes to the rapid acceleration of this world's trip to hell in a handbasket. It is always gratifying to be a part of something larger than yourself. Get out a disposable, one-time use Ziplock bag and dump in some olive oil, kosher salt, and pepper. Shake it like an uppity hooker.
Spread your shit out on a baking sheet. Take a head of garlic and separate it into cloves but do not unpeel them. Spread them out on the baking sheet. This is where my version diverges from the commie one because garlic is illegal under commie rule. I don't know why. It probably has to do with individuals breaking away from a whole or some other metaphorical bullshit like that.
Okay now I know this looks like a total fucking mess but really this is exactly what you want your shit to look like. Cook at 400 deg for 40 min. Every 7ish minutes give the sheet a good shake so the sprouts and garlic roll around and cook evenly. They will be crispy, not mushy, and have a deep nutty character, like your mom. Eat it.
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